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Hey there,
Been a long while since I last posted on here.
A lot has happened... I am in my last term of first year at Central School Of Speech and Drama which is scary as it's gone SO fast!
I could talk about everything that happened but I won't, because it would bore you and take a long time and energy. Let's just sum it up by saying there have been a lot of ups and downs.
Of course, it has all been very fun and exciting and I have me lots of new, amazing people but moving out of home and starting something like this in big ol' London does come without it's downfalls.
I miss home often, expecially in the evenings.
One thing about moving away from somewhere you are so used to being is that you are suddenly without all the things you took for granted, for example, London is MASSIVE and, unlike Brighton, I don't really know where things are or where are the best places to go so I don't feel 100% comfortable.
Also, you find yourself cut off from all the friends you have back at home. They are all off doing their own thing and you are surrounded by relatively new faces, none of whom you have known for more than a few months. This is really hard for me, as I find it a bit difficult to quickly get past the small talk and slightly awkward phase of friendships. This means I won't feel like I can really open up to someone until I have known them for quite a while, I won't call them, I won't invite them round.. I am basically an uncomfortable mess. I am also pretty paranoid that everyone else is making better friends that I am, but most of the time I realise that that is probably ridiculous.
Of course there has been something that has really knocked my confidence. First term was pretty much taken up by lectures and then spending time with a certain group of people who I really liked and had a lot of fun with and so I didn't really socialise with anyone else. When that fell through (for reasons I won't go into) that was the friendship group I had been working on broken and I had to start from scratch.
That incident has really messed up my plans for a care-free, fun-filled experience of university, which fricking sucks.I find myself thinking about it and getting myself worked up. Even though I know I am better off now, it still seems to get to me which makes me angry at myself for being so stupid which makes me even more worked up until I just have to turn my music up really loud and dance around my room.
Sorry for this blog being so twatty and soppy, but I needed to get that off my chest as I feel I need to write it down to see how ridiculous I am being.
Next blog will be better I promise.
In other news, my dad is cycling 100km... yes, you heard, 100km! around London with my uncle Jann and their friend to rasie money for a charity that is based around The Encephalitis Society, in memory of my Mum. If you would like to donate, that would be really great. Here is the link : http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=naef&isTeam=true

Cheers
xxxx